Boston, MA | A Catholic man has filed for divorce only hours into
his own wedding night after panicking over the smaller than average size
penis of his new partner.
Ken Spencer, 26, filed for a divorce with Tyron Smith, 28, only four
hours into their wedding night after realizing his partner had lied to
him about his “inch-long” penis.
The newlyweds who are both devout Catholics, and had waited until
marriage to partake in any sexual relationship, visibly had a
traumatizing experience during their first night as a married couple.
“Like, I’m not racist or anything,
but the fucking dude’s black. I mean, he should at least have a decent
size pecker,” he told reporters.
“It’s short, stumpy and crooked. It leans on the right at a 45-degree
angle, then curves back to the left. It’s definitely the grossest thing
I’ve ever seen,” he explained.
“I wouldn’t even put that thing in my mouth if the guy gave me a twenty,” he added, visibly disgusted.
An unconsumed marriage
Ken Spencer is also suing his former partner for the $30,000 wedding costs and a canceled $5,000 honeymoon trip to Hawaii.
“He lied to me about the size of his dick when he knew size mattered a lot to me,” he told reporters.
“I still have about 30 of his dick
pics he sent to me on my cell phone. They are clearly not his. I’m
keeping them as evidence for the judge,” he explained.
“I’m glad to say that no penetration occurred. As soon as he spread
out his legs and showed me his thingy, I dashed out of the room and
never looked back,” he added, visibly relieved.
In many states, the fraudulent conduct of one spouse may provide grounds for divorce.
The definition of fraud in the context of divorce law equates to one
spouse “grossly misrepresenting issues so important that the other
spouse would not have married him had she known the truth.”